31 Perfect Weeks

On Monday, we went to see our ob/gyn. Because of all of the events of the weekend, we were glad they were able to get us an appointment. We sat in our nurses office and through tears caught her up on all of the details.
I had shared with Wes a day earlier, that Wesley Adam had not been moving much, if any at all. I had been on pain medicine because of the intense contractions
so we were hoping he was sleeping.
We went into the ultrasound room in hopes of getting a picture of our sweet boy
and to check his heartbeat.
The doctor was unable to get a good picture because of the Polyhydramnios-extra amniotic fluid due to not being able to swallow.
He also told us he was unable to find a heartbeat.

On Monday, November 22, 2010 Wesley Adam Mills, Jr. went to be with his Maker.
He lived 31 weeks in his mother's womb.
He was a good gift from the Lord.
The Lord was glorified and blessed many through his life and death. To God be all the glory.
Funeral: 10a.m. Saturday at Redeemer Church, 126 N. Judd, White Settlement, Texas 76108
Memorials: In lieu of flowers, a donation may be made to the Raimi Adoption Fund at Redeemer Church.
Survivors: Parents Wes and Jenny Mills; sister, Aubri Mills; paternal grandfather, Tony Mills and wife, Candice; Vickie Ramsey and husband, Ron; and maternal grandparents, Mike and Pam Carroll.

The facts.

The past few days have been a whirlwind of events and emotion. Wednesday night I began to experience pretty strong contractions that continued most of the day on Thursday. I called our nurse and she told me if we had another night like Wednesday night, we should go into the hospital to get evaluated.

Well, we were up most of the night Thursday night just hoping to make it until morning. Friday morning finally came. We made arrangements for a dear friend to come over to our house to watch Aubri and we went to the hospital.

Once at the hospital, we saw on the monitor that my contractions were regular and about 3-4 minutes apart. I had no sign of dilation so they determined that I was not in "active labor." I was given medicine to slow my contractions and pain medicine. I was sent home with contractions 5-6 minutes apart, but they were much more tolerable.

I slept most of the evening and through the night on Friday. On Saturday, I began running a fever. After talking to the on-call doctor, we decided to try and rest as much as possible. He gave us signs to watch for that indicated the need for immediate medical attention. The signs never presented themselves and my fever broke in the middle of the night. Thank you, Lord.

We are planning to go to our ob/gyn tomorrow and hopefully get a sonogram. Please pray for our hearts as we go tomorrow. The Lord willing, we will be able to get some answers to the contractions and fever, and check for dilation.

As you may suspect, this week/weekend has brought on much emotion. This part of our storm is very rough. I know this post simply provides the facts and leaves out many details of how we are dealing with all of the unknown. That day of sharing will come.
Today we are concentrating on our God. He is enough. He is good. And though at times we feel much hurt, the Lord never forsakes. He is always faithful. His grace is always sufficient. And by His grace, we trust in Him.

Kaden Wesley

Jenny and James are some of our best friends.
James works with Wes, and through our husbands Jenny and I have become close friends. They have been Aubri's babysitter the few times she has needed one, and Bri has become very fond of them...especially her "Dames".

They, too, are expecting a little boy in January. It has been fun being pregnant along side one of my best friends- to talk about all the woes of pregnancy, all of the excitement and anxieties, and about each doctor's visit.

A few months ago, James came to Wes and asked if it would be okay to give their son the middle name Wesley, in honor of our son, Wesley Adam. He told Wes that whatever the outcome is regarding our son, they would share with their son, Kaden Wesley, how the Lord used Wesley Adam to bring glory to Himself.

We were then, and continue to be humbled by their idea
And so very excited that the story the Lord is knitting together in our son
will be told through the life of another child.
To God be the glory, forever and ever, Amen.

Kaden and WA

30 week appointment

We had our 30 week ob/gyn appointment yesterday. I have always loved going to these appointments and yesterday was no different.
Our nurse is wonderful. I don't remember if I mentioned this before or not, but she loves the Lord so much. The week after we found out about Wesley Adam's diagnosis, she called twice to tell me that she was praying for our family and to encourage us in the Lord.
When we saw her yesterday, she did the same thing. It is a wonderful blessing to have a nurse that is walking through this with us as our sister in Christ.

We heard Wesley Adam's heartbeat. It sounds great.
It was about 145 beats per minutes, which is a strong healthy heartbeat.

He is kicking, hard. He is much more active in womb than Aubri ever was. I feel like his little personality and his strength are so different than his sister's. Aubri is so girly and delicate and WA is, well... such the little boy.

Our next visit, the Thursday after Thanksgiving, we will get to have another ultrasound! Yay!
I am really hoping for some clear pictures. The pictures we have from our specialist appointment are great to have, but they aren't very clear.

Alright...here ya go...Wesley Adam at 30 weeks.

Recluse.

I have been a bit of a recluse the past few weeks. Thankfully, it has been for good reasons.

2 weeks ago,
Bri and I started potty training.
Yes, I say, both Bri and I. It took every bit of energy I had to train myself to be by her side at ALL times. It was a time of striving for discipline, patience, and endurance, but I can say now 2 1/2 weeks later, we have persevered. We are not completely trained yet, but many days go by without an accident. And to me, that is success.
I don't know which thrills Wes more, the fact that Bri is now a big girl or how much money we are saving now that we don't have to buy anymore diapers!

Last week,
Bri, Wesley Adam, and I headed to Arkansas to see family to give Wes some uninterrupted work time. He had a big paper due yesterday. (Which is why I am just now getting to post-he was holding the computer hostage.)
We had fun visiting all of the Bri and Wesley Adam's grandparents and a few aunts and uncles, too.
While we were visiting Nana and Ops, Aunt Ashley took a few vacation days from work and met us in Fort Smith for some MUCH needed girl time. Thank you, Ashley, for making the trip! I have missed you so much!
Aunt Ashley and Uncle Ben were determined to feel Wesley Adam kick.
And he didn't let them down!

This week,
Bri was diagnosed with Hand, Foot, and Mouth Disease. Poor baby.
Per doctors orders, we are now forced to hibernate until this highly contagious virus runs its course.
As I was driving Bri to the pediatrician yesterday, I was thinking that this was becoming a way too frequent occurrence. I began to count all the times since Wesley Adam's diagnosis that Bri has had to go to the doctor. I relate it back to his diagnosis because every time Bri gets sick, I think to myself "now, both my children are sick...".
It is a battle of my mind.
I have been reading Elizabeth George's "Loving God With All Your Mind". I bought it a few weeks before we found out about our little guy's disease, and it couldn't be more timely. It is a book about training yourself to take your thoughts captive-not to think about all the "what if's" or "what could have been's" but to "think on what is true" Phil. 4:8
My Aunt Barbara said it well when she said "we are not going to fill today with lots of tears and sadness because the Bible tells us to live each day for today and not worry about tomorrow. And today, Wesley Adam is alive, growing, and kicking and for that we are grateful."
Thank you, Lord, for speaking wisdom to me through my Aunt Barbara.

We have our next ob/gyn appointment on Tuesday. We are always excited to get a check-up on how WA is growing. And growing he is. My belly is getting HUGE! I think I am already as big as I was in my 9th month with Aubri. Aubri has really started noticing how big I am getting. She talks about bubba all the time. She has started saying "Lotion Bubba?" And she will help me rub lotion on my tummy. She is such a sweet big sister.

Now that a paper is turned in, we are through traveling, and hopefully, all on the mend. We are looking forward to some quality family time in the days ahead!
(Before the next paper is due...)